


預防者的日常 Preventers’ daily

by Minirain



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: 中文-广东话 粵語
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27519163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minirain/pseuds/Minirain
Summary: 預防者Full team的日常生活小片段It is Preventers’ daily life in full team.** English version is available at the bottom**
Kudos: 2





	預防者的日常 Preventers’ daily

預防者的日常

住址

莉迪‧安︰預防者成員的住址資料要更新了，讓我看看他們都住哪裡…薩古斯的地址是諾茵家？呵呵，很合理。希羅的地址…諾茵家？她還真是大愛…迪奧的地址…諾茵家？…怎麼全部都在諾茵家？

莉迪‧安︰(召見五人)你們不可能全部住在諾茵家裡吧，真實的地址都在哪？

希羅︰日落大道後巷。

迪奧︰市政公園廢物回收場。

多諾︰四處漂泊的馬戲團…

卡多魯︰帳蓬…

五飛︰哪吒

莉迪‧安︰知道了知道了…我會為你們安排宿舍…

監護人1

警察局長︰莉迪‧安小姐，我是因為看到那五個小孩都是預防者成員才打給你。無牌駕駛、醉駕、未成年飲酒、公眾場所大呼大嚷、破壞公物…那五個問題兒童真的是預防者成員嗎？

莉迪‧安︰抱歉局長…我會跟他們的監護人反映…

警察局長︰他們說監護人是你…

莉迪‧安︰WHAT?

監護人2

莉迪‧安︰所以，你們三個成年人必須要成為那五個小孩的監護人。

諾茵︰可是莉迪‧安，他們—

莎莉︰我要五飛和卡多魯。

諾茵︰太狡滑了莎莉，迪奧和多諾就算了，但最有問題的希羅…

薩古斯︰…我不要希羅。

莎莉︰作為監護人可以掌握孩子的一切行蹤，而且對他們有管教責罰的權利。

薩古斯︰…諾茵，領養希羅吧。

加薪

莎莉︰我要提出加薪要求，現在的薪酬太低了。大家生活沒問題嗎？

莉迪‧安︰杜魯斯大人有遺產留給我。

諾茵︰我娘家是諾因海姆財團。

薩古斯︰我在聖克王國有資產。

莎莉︰你們這些貴族就算了(轉向高達五子)

卡多魯︰我家開油田。

五飛︰我家是財閥。

莎莉︰你們兩個太異數了。那你們三個呢？

迪奧、多諾︰(沈默與希羅面面相觀)

希羅︰(拿出電腦)…你想我黑進哪個富豪的銀行帳戶？

出差

諾茵︰這次出差起碼要一個月，而且在亞洲，時間太長了，薩古斯都在投訴。我要work-life-balance啦！

莉迪‧安︰(默默從抽屜抽出信封) …日本豪華蜜月溫泉之旅套票。

諾茵︰…任務了解。

年終工作鑑定

莉迪‧安︰薩古斯關於你今年的工作表現…

薩古斯︰…

莉迪‧安︰…很出色的完成了我的要求。

薩古斯︰…

莉迪‧安︰…你還有其他問題嗎？

薩古斯︰我覺得今年的工作編排未能盡善盡美，還有很多可以改善的地方。不過我知道妳已盡力，期待妳來年的表現。

莉迪‧安︰…謝謝…

薩古斯︰我先離開了。

莉迪‧安︰…辛苦了。(目送離開)

莉迪‧安︰(淚)杜魯斯大人我實在不喜歡他…

報告

莉迪‧安︰又要看報告了…怎麼回事，五飛和卡多魯的報告…充滿不同的修辭手法，借喻、借代、排比甚至頂真，寫得跟寫詩寫小說無異，太優美了。咦…為甚麼另外有三頁紙…「任務完成」「爆炸、BOOM、搞定」、「無新事」…肯定是一、二、三號…

學歷

莉迪‧安︰雖然你們五個未成年人是特別成員，但起碼要乎合一定學歷要求吧。所以我要安排希羅、迪奧、多諾你們三人到中學上學去。

迪奧︰為甚麼卡多魯和五飛不用上學？

莉迪‧安︰他們兩個都曾在家中私人學習。

迪奧︰我們也算是在家私人學習吧，這不公平。

莉迪‧安︰卡多魯已經考上了國家大學…五飛則是著名的學霸，公開試成績近乎滿分…

多諾︰…最低學歷要求是甚麼？

莉迪‧安︰起碼混個高中畢業吧。

迪奧、多諾︰(沈默與希羅面面相觀)

希羅︰(拿出電腦) 你想我們在哪個高中畢業？

瑪莉美亞的毒舌

莉迪‧安︰今天小瑪莉美亞會過來玩，我先給大家個心理準備，這小孩頗毒舌的。

瑪莉美亞︰(對薩古斯)嗨，你是很多名字的王子，我都記不清了。(對諾茵)這個是長得像男生的阿姨。(對莎莉)這個是80年代捲捲頭阿姨。

諾茵︰還好吧，就這種程度。

瑪莉美亞︰(對希羅)你是窮得沒錢買衣服的可憐蟲一號；(對迪奧)你是窮得沒錢打理頭髮的可憐蟲二號；(對多諾)你是窮得沒錢買夏天衣服的可憐蟲三號。

莎莉︰太白鴿眼了吧…

瑪莉美亞︰(對卡多魯)你是很有錢但男生女相還要一大幫傭人圍著你轉的廢青4號；(對五飛)…你誰呀大眾臉。

高達五子︰我要殺死你/你這死丫頭/…/你一點都不可愛/所以我最討厭女人！

幫幫忙吧1

莉迪‧安︰我快要死了，開了十個小時的會議，明天還有一個長會，諾茵出差在外，你們誰給我把它搞定吧。

莎莉︰(裝可愛)…我只是個醫生…

薩古斯︰(別過臉)…王子不能參政。

莉迪‧安︰你們自己猜拳決定誰去！！

幫幫忙吧2

莉迪‧安︰超可憐的，我又要開長會了。小瑪莉美亞在家都沒人理…

諾茵︰太可憐了，還有甚麼會議要開？我來幫忙吧。

莉迪‧安︰果然諾茵是最可靠的…其實我還有這個跟這個，明天就有這個跟那個還有這個…

諾茵︰太多了吧…

莉迪‧安︰身為母親真是分身不下…我的女兒好可憐啊…杜魯斯大人我對不起你…

諾茵︰明白了，統統交給我吧，妳不介意我讓薩古斯跟莎莉幫忙吧？

莉迪‧安︰真可靠，拜托妳了。(目送離開)杜魯斯大人，我已經找到竅門了，呵呵呵。

** English version**

Preventer's daily

Address

Lady Une: The address information for the members of the Preventers is going to be updated. Let me see where they all live... What is the address of Zechs? Oh, he lives with Noin which is reasonable. Heero's address... Noin's address? She really cares her sister-in-law... Duo's address... Noin's home again? …Why are they all at Noin’s home?

Lady Une: (calls the boys) You can't all live in Noin's house, right? Where are the real addresses?

Heero: Back alley of Sunset Boulevard.

Duo: Recycling Site at Municipal park.

Trowa: The circus...

Quatre: Tent...

Wu Fei: Nataku

Lady Une: I see. I will arrange the dormitory for you guys….

Guardian 1

Chief of Police: Miss Lady Une, I called you because I saw that those five children are members of Preventers. Driving without a license, drunk driving, underage drinking, shouting in public places, vandalizing public property... Are those five problematic children really members of Preventers?

Lady Une: I'm sorry, Chief... I will tell their guardians...

Chief of Police: They said that their guardian is you...

Lady Une: WHAT?

Guardian 2

Lady Une: Therefore, you three adults must be guardians of those five children.

Noin: But Lady Une, they—

Sally: I want Wufei and Quatre.

Noin: It’s too cunning, Sally. Duo and Trowa are fine, but Heero who has the most problem...

Zechs: ...I don't want Heero.

Sally: As a guardian, you can control all the whereabouts of your children, and you have the right to discipline and punish them.

Zechs: …Noin, adopt Heero.

Salary

Sally: I want to ask for a salary increase. The salary now is too low. Are you guys ok with it?

Lady Une: Treize, His Excellency has a legacy for me.

Noin: I am from Neuenheim.

Zechs: I have assets in the Sanc Kingdom.

Sally: You nobles, forget it (turn to five Gundam pilots)

Quatre: My family owns oil fields.

Wufei: My family is a consortium.

Sally: You two are too different. What about you three?

Duo, Trowa: (Silence and face each other with Heero)

Heero: (takes out the computer)...Which rich bank account do you want me to hack into?

Business trip

Noin: This business trip will take at least one month and it is in Asia. The time is too long. Zechs is complaining. I want work-life-balance!

Lady Une: (withdraws the envelope from the drawer silently) …A package of luxury honeymoon trips in Japan.

Noin: ... mission accepted.

Year-end appraisal

Lady Une: Zechs, about your performance this year...

Zechs:...

Lady Une: …you completed my request very well.

Zechs:...

Lady Une: …Do you have any other questions?

Zechs: I think this year's work arrangement is not perfect, and there are still many things that can be improved. But I know you have done your best and look forward to your performance in the coming year.

Lady Une:...Thank you...

Zechs: I'm leaving now.

Lady Une: ...Good bye. (Watching him leave)

Lady Une: (tears) Your Excellency, I really don’t like him...

Report

Lady Une: I'm going to read the report again...what's going on, Wu Fei and Quatre's reports... are full of different rhetorical devices, including metaphors, generations, parallelism, and even truthfulness. It's no different from writing poems and novels. Beautiful. Huh...Why are there another three pages... "Mission completed", "Explosion, BOOM, get it done", "Nothing New"... It must be number one, two or three...

Education

Lady Une: Although you five guys are special members, at least you must meet certain academic requirements. So I want to arrange you guys Heero, Duo and Trowa to go to school.

Duo: Why don't Quatre and Wufei go to school?

Lady Une: Both of them studied privately at home.

Duo: We can also be regarded as private study at home, this is not fair.

Lady Une: Quatre has been admitted to the National University...Wufei is a famous student, and his public test scores are close to full marks...

Trowa: ...what is the minimum education requirement?

Lady Une: At least to graduate from a high school.

Duo, Trowa: (Silence and face each other with Heero)

Heero: (takes out the computer) Which high school do you want us to graduate from?

Mariemaia's poisonous tongue

Lady Une: Little Mariemaia will come over to play today. Let me prepare you mentally. This kid is very poisonous.

Mariemaia: (to Zechs) Hi, you are a prince with many names, I can't remember them at all. (To Noin) This is an Auntie who looks like a boy. (To Sally) This is an Auntie with the 80s curly-hair.

Noin: That’s it? That is acceptable.

Mariemaia: (to Heero) You are the poor No. 1 who is too poor to buy clothes; (to Duo) you are the poor No.2 who is too poor to take care of your hair; (to Trowa) you are poor No. 3 who has no money to buy summer clothes.

Sally: You’re too focus on money, girl...

Mariemaia: (To Quatre) You are rich, but I can’t tell you are girl or boy by your appearance. Also what a shame you need a large group of servants to stay around you. (To Wufei)...Who are you?

Gundam guys: I want to kill you/you girl want to die/.../you are not cute at all/so I hate women the most!

Please help 1

Lady Une: I'm dying. I have had a ten-hour meeting. There will be a long meeting tomorrow. Noin is away on business. Who of you can get it done for me?

Sally: (Pretending to be cute)...I'm just a doctor...

Zechs: (turn around)... A prince cannot participate in politics.

Lady Une: You guys guess who will go! !

Please help 2

Lady: Poor me, I have a long meeting again. Little Mariemaia have to be at home alone...

Noin: It's so pitiful, what other meetings are there? Let me help.

Lady Une: You are always the one I can trusted... Actually I still have this and this, and tomorrow there will be this and that and this...

Noin: Too many...

Lady Une: As a mother, I can’t help myself...My daughter is so pitiful...Your Excellency, I'm sorry I can’t take good care of your kid…..

Noin: I see. Leave it to me. Would you mind if I let Zechs and Sally help?

Lady Une: You decide. (Watching Noin’s leaving) Your Excellency, I have found the trick, ha ha ha.


End file.
